Clarity, Teardrop, Icecream and steps closer

September 1st, 2008

Hey,

Darkness falls , surprising success progress, rhymes hit the blackness of the river as I pass strangers and comtemplate hidden metaphors, meanings and realities of illogic and life in song. Clarity comes to me , understanding clearly what was blurry long ago, realising little pieces that had be out of focus like a reflected, refracted fractal rippling towards a nonlinear chaotic realm of convergence back to rationality.

Icecream is cold and good, especially for sad people. Their is no age restriction on Wii Tennis :).

Have fun and best of luck

Benjamin Southall aKa Appleman1234 :)

Bolting down memory lane, Haven’t I seen this before,Back to back dueling against the pocket watch…

August 28th, 2008

Hey everyone,

How are we all ? Sick ? Tired ? Exhausted ? Flat out like a lizard pulverised on asphalt from a road train of commitment ?

So much has been happening, ulrica (my laptop) seems to have gone a bit crazy and requires some serious slanting  (between 45% and 85%)to get around BIOS freezing, I think it is related to grounding the USB ports, as the BIOS used to have a bug of freeze when a USB device was plugged in, but I downgraded the BIOS to fix that and now the BIOS freezes when it thinks that the usb isn’t grounded, I think.

I have various assessment due including two group projects that were due this Friday and are now due Monday and a Differential equations test next Thursday.

I have been busy setting up services on a custom Gentoo Linux Harden Xen guest image that I made for the ITN771 group assignment, in the process I found a bug in OSSIM related to nessus scanning that will be hopefully patched in the next release.

I have also been helping various colleagues with debugging in Python and C and this was quite enjoyable given the amount of stress I have had to deal with lately….

I remember so much of what happens from my dreams / premonitions, it is quite unnerving and things and encounters that normally would be unusual or strange seem so familar.

I had an interesting discussion with an atheist again about logic systems face to face in the room of Green, it was a refreshing change from the misunderstanding and cynical debate and mockery that I have come to expect.

I have also had a chance to reflect on the morality of death and human life via the media references I have the delight of being overexposed to like a spectator being inflicting with an entire naturalist colony streaking at a public or sporting event. These movies were The Swamp (Korean, mystery thriller, vengenence flick about wife catching best friend having affair with her husband), Unleashed (Starring Morgan Freeman as the awesome blind piano tuner that liberated the main character from slavery and killing ) and Godforsaken which featured a good kid in the wrong crowd with good intentions but the wrong loyalties which eventually cost him his life.

People are so oblivious to the effects of their actions on other people and the consequences…

It hurts, and caring hurts, apathy is safety but it has its cost as well.

I would write more but I am so stressed and I don’t want to vent any more than I have already.

Did you ever take a chance on a moonbeam ….

Stay well

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

Cholesky and the Paladin Matrix, CTF and other notes

August 12th, 2008

Hey everyone.

This has been a long time coming, but here it is, it will probably be disappointing as I don’t really feel like talking but meh. Lol I rambled on a whole bunch of interesting , funny and random stuff as usual. :)

Enjoy

Port expansion, Bloody DEs, and subconscious memory

July 24th, 2008

Hi everyone,

Wow I am actually updating, But don’t get too excited, it isn’t about the awesomeness of Ruben’s LAN or the medieval festival or even the secrets of human relationships and love, instead I present to you …

Today on my way to my only early differential equations lecture, I was carrying the port which I was going to give to Madmockhaven, I got to Z block and it spontaneously exploded ,probably due to a crack and pressure. I managed to get it all to a bin and keep my brand new DE textbook clean, I then managed to mop the spilt port with newspapers and bin that all. I got to my DEs lecture with a bleeding thumb and a minute to spare before 8am…

Z block still smells like port, and my thumb bleed through most of the DEs lecture which was taught by the awesome Cameron. So it looks like I will need to get another bottle of port to Madmockhaven and apologise to my dad for the spontaneous expolosion / expansion of one. I also got to talk with Tim, who is in my DEs class about memory, artificial intelligence and other stuff it was good.

Now back to study and helping people

Have fun

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234

Immersive, what is love, differential diagnosis and loud noises from space…

July 22nd, 2008

Hey everyone,

Back at uni now, now studying IT project management, numerical linear algebra, advanced network management and differential equations.  The break from uni was good, key features included the Abbey Medieval Festival,  Ruben’s LAN, the journey to Toowoomba and the visiting of my Great Uncle Rod.

On the way to Toowoomba I had the opportunity to think and discuss some of my ideas with respect to the definition of love, and human social dynamics and relationship modelling, it was quite nice, I may publish my thoughts here later on, but I haven’t decided yet.

Immersed in reality as the first week of uni flies into my world, I have so much to do and so much to say but not enough time to document it here.

What do you learn from listening to silence ?

Best wishes

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

Iteration and recursion, if at first you don’t succeed, if at first….

July 6th, 2008

Hey,

Got my results back earlier than expected. Got deja vu as well, degree is going to be delayed by at least year. Got lost in the darkness of suburbian, well not lost, just took the largest figure of eight of my life to date, but that kind of makes sense considering the circumstances.

I would say I don’t know anymore, but that would imply that I knew anymore to begin with …., and that would be more than a misnomer. Why my past haunts me like an apparition I don’t know.

All the movies I see, I can’t recall whether I have seen them before in past or in my dreams, it seems academic isn’t about knowledge and understanding rather what one can demonstrate on a form of assessment, and it seems that my conditioned response to this is the mathematically stutter like skat, except out of tune.

The apathy is almost returning from the fits of boredom and escapism never worked but I don’t stop trying. I wonder why everything that is set, is set in jelly. Custard creams may taste nice, but looking at one’s waste in hindsight is nothing short of paralysis.

Freedom taken, dreams taken, memories taken, innocence taken, but what is given ?

I am not sure, and am really questioning things at the moment. Any momentum I once had seems to be a memory, 3 steps forward, 1 step back. Where have the dead butterflies landed ? Where has the fun gone ? Where is the passion ? What am I seeking ? And the sound I hear is the sound of the wind, as it runs through the town, twist and spin , twist and spin.

Resistance maybe measured in ohms, but repetition leads to boredom, boredom leads to apathy and apathy brings back its own significant challenges. Mechanic diagnostics lead to the ddos of the machine, I seem to adopted as my child. As much as I want to play games or even talk, I am not allowed to. I give some empathy to those who feel this helpless with real loved ones rathered than an antropomorphised network attached storage device.

Both potential and happiness elude at present and metaprogression might be the way forward.

Why aren’t systems optimal ? Why isn’t life optimal ?

I seek, but shall I find …

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

Boardem, pirates and instructions.

July 4th, 2008

Hey,

Just a quick update. I posted a man page for myself in my pages section. You know your a geek when …..

Meh, anyhow, back to my imagination.

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

Dainty precocity, rinse and repeat and elaborate grandiose glass shards

June 30th, 2008

Greetings people,

The time of disentanglement is upon us. Finally free from the multiple integrands that ranged between t =0 and t = lots, I have the hourglass worth of time to quickly jot down some notes as to how life is , has been and will be.

Assessment is all over now, it should go well. Subjects are already choosen for next semester. Thousand Parsec wxPython client manual update finally got acheived today (after several delays and some disturbances). Ivanhoe has his memory back (the hdd was replaced) but his hands are paralysed (usb devices don’t received an address and hence aren’t automounted).

Ulrica (laptop) is world upto date and the only thing bothering me other than the luck of duck tape for the DVB-T aerial, is that my webcam mic isn’t recording in arecord or Audacity. Not much is happening so any invites are welcome.

Spheres of influence are interesting things, I might resume my metamodeling if I have the time,

Anyhow

Keep it secret , keep it safe,

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234

In the rain, rage, sanctity, backgammon,crayons

May 31st, 2008

Hi,

Its study week , the week dedicated to the cohesive repetition of techniques and methodologies that allow the recollection and presentation of fluid information or application of knowledge to take form in items of assessment.

The weather is wonderful. The cold keeps me cool, the rain keeps me wet, but not wet enough. The code keeps me focused, Gradually habits get influenced or broken, solutions to problems arise and more challenges face us as we live.

Several interesting discussions have occurred lately including the discussion about humanity’s stupidity being infinite (lets just say I disagree with Einstein and have a logical basis for doing so), the discussion about the game and double or n-think. Ignorance, discovery and recognition make for an interesting meme let alone amusement. Imagine if an IT lecturer got hold of this and hid carefully a subliminal reference to that which we lose by knowing and face palm without questioning.

Subconscious subliminal triggers could be the key to brainwashing or habbit forming the entire world, and yet my own snares lay decadent, covered in dust and spiderwebs, so sublime that they seem camoflauged in auspicious reality and never sprung even when the bait is tasty pizza or hamburgers.

Pruning is important in the maintaince of fast growing climbing species and humans are no exception, focus and willpower is required to avoid being left too long in the shade to stagnate until fermented.

But now my mind turns to the peach and to the folk song and piano solo I know so well, for with each person comes their own mental triggers caused by emotion or illogical mental association if these were harnessed for uses more beneficial to the society, success would be eminent, however at the same time we would lose a piece of ourselves in the process, doomed to remain a broken jigsaw piece for eternity.

Why do the JW’s expect me to drop what I am doing to engage in a discussion about my beliefs, and then leave 10 minutes later, when they can’t make me an easy convert ? People are so similar, unless you act like they expect you to act, you say what they expect you to say and you fulfill their limit processes on your character instead of being free to paint outside the lines and dance in infinity, why must reality be a consensus of oppressionistic judgements rather than a fondue of perceptions with some chunks of personalisation and attitude added for flavour.

Now I am hungry, is non toxic really non toxic ? Could I eat a crayon ?, apparently they test chemicals for safety individually and not in chemical combinations because the permutations are far too numerous, and yet we will soon have quantum computing and can model all most anything approximately, but don’t as the funding hasn’t be allocated yet.

Eventually people will realise that rates of change matter to our reality and society, the total differential of human morality,  it matters, the rate of change of the environment and ecological support systems, it matters, the jacobian of the influence of the internet on capitalistic society and people’s approach to social interaction, it matters.

The world will come crashing down, if steps are not taken, but currently that doesn’t matter, baby steps are taken, stumbling blocks are made, and yet people are not prepared to sacrifice the now for the future (and yet they unwillingly do so already) or sacrifice their freedom for reason, people value freedom more than the ability to itself live.

Thousands of people have died, so others could live free, if the rates of change and the reality calculus are ignored,we will be dying for freedoms, that the future will never get because at this rate the future will be lost or forsaken.

We could force a rollback or reversion to a previous circumstance and society, and avoid problems now, we could use what we have in multitudes to develop and implement solutions to scarcity in the context of reality, or we could sit comfortably in our lives, unaware of the dangers that lurk under the bed or in the closet, the children see it, but the parents don’t believe, choosing to forget when they were children themselves, and instead focus on their important part of existence.

Did you see their smile, did you see them cry, did you see them laughing as in their souls they died ?
If you manage to see my bubbles (they aren’t pointy), let me know ….

Hope your thinking hard and staying focused,
Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

Alive but bombarded with reality….

May 13th, 2008

Hey everyone,

Apologies for the delay, things have been busy.

I really need to get Ivanhoe fixed and Audacity recording or mencoder recording a live video stream with sound. I walked 8 kms for Breast Cancer on Mothers Day, and an extra four km to get to and from the event. I also walked about 5kms on Saturday, so I am just walking along nicely.

I am really interested in the dispersion of food colouring in melting ice in a vacuum and the calculus (6D+ hypervolume integrals), partial differential equations and other mathematics which could model them.

I really need to get in touch with everyone, so if you want to get in touch or in contact with me, just let me know.

I should really add some discussion points, or observations up here, but if I did so, then you would all die of boredom at the sheer length of material i have accumulated since my last update.

Anyways I am off to get stuff done,

Best wishes and have fun

Benjamin Southall aka Appleman1234 :)

PS: Where do you hide ?